Monday, May 24, 2010

Wanted: Kings! (in all but coronation)

Are you angry? Are you accused of arrogance? Are you hostile toward censure and regulation? Do you resist supervision? Are you irritated by instructions delivered by the innumerable apparatchiks prospering in our present period of civic atonia?

If your answer to these is a grim and glowering affirmation of your unacknowledged greatness, we have business to discuss, oh yes.

We are Gryllus and Bombina. Our professional reputation is such that you will hear us spoken of only in tones of uninflected admiration or else in envy; our credentials run to volumes; our record is peerless. We have made it our life’s work to identify and advance young men who are made to possess power, not to submit to it.

Aggressive, narcissistic men who are today diagnosed with personality disorders on the antisocial spectrum may have been the successful warrior-kings of old. Now, we can’t offer you a kingdom,* but we will pay you a kingly sum and arrange for you to enter into such circumstances in which your inborn and indomitable will to power may flourish and receive full measure of reward.

Candidates who rank highly in our evaluation will be taken under contract. We will train you in all the technical and intuitive arts of leadership: strategy, rhetoric, intrigue, grit, diligence, and the confidence of character that acts without apology. You, in your role, will rule. Our contracts are tailored to fit all manner of circumstances—sub rosa, coup d’etat, satrapy, etc.—the whole range of imaginable polity.

Do not doubt that you were made to rule. Authority is the birthright of strength—we can help you wield it.

Call today and allow us to arrange for an interview with one of our field representatives.

* Except in certain geopolitical circumstances. Many are the ways to a throne, and our particular expertise is in recognizing and capitalizing upon opportunities of unusual rarity.

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