Close readings of fake novels (part 2)

.......On a first glance the reason behind this short feat was a test of will and a test of style. With sentences like “George licked the popsicle with exuberant glee. The hot air in Italy rendered the pale-handed man a sweltering sprinkler. In George’s snow-white palm, the popsicle had no choice but to give in to the greedy purpling tongue,” the author believes a tango-line of epithets superior to any possible application of “he, she, it, etc.” It’s a peculiar way to go, but as I got into the story (filled with action, suspense, cliffs, and mystery ice cream!), I found I didn’t miss the little buggers, and for a time I even began referring to my friends by their proper names:
Me: “Did you hear what Laura said! Laura said that Jerry met with Laura’s brother, and Laura’s brother and Jerry are planning a surprise party for Peter, but Peter already asked Jerry and Laura’s brother and Laura over to Peter’s house for cake and booze that night, so Laura is worried that Laura’s brother and Jerry will allow Peter to have two birthday parties, when Peter only deserves one after running over Mr. Winkle’s cat Mr. Winkles Jr.”
Listener: “who did what in the who now?”
On the other hand, I found another novel written by a 45 year old woman who works at a Laundromat, where her novel disregards all names in place of pronouns. Hers is an erotic novel, with lines like, “He licked his dripping popsicle roughly, taking the time to rub his base as if he were drying him off from a quick swim in a pool; a pool, that is, of his semen,” that remind me of an Oroboros.